


I'm Holding Out For a Himbo to the End of the Night

by scrawly_times



Category: Bloodborne (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28941123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrawly_times/pseuds/scrawly_times
Summary: The Kind Hunter is a gentle, kind, affectionate fellow.He is also, tragically, an absolute idiot.The life and many, many deaths of Ben the Kind Hunter and the poor suckers who end up liking him.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 32





	1. Good Thing There's Respawn

**Author's Note:**

> Kade is my favorite oc belonging to my friend @dragabond on Tumblr, but usually they're the MC Hunter? I like them being Djura's Ally too. 
> 
> Ben is my favorite MC Hunter oc though because he is absolutely an idiot and an absolute tank at the same time and he just wants to be friends and not have to kill anyone please 
> 
> Obviously, a friendship with Djura makes this the perfect introduction to him
> 
> This story is MOSTLY going to be disconnect chapters of different points of the story that I want to write

The first time Djura saw the Kind Hunter, he was barging through the heavy doors into Old Yharnam like they  _ weren't _ so heavy Djura could barely drag them back himself. He grumbled in annoyance - he'd  _ just _ put that back! - but readied his getting gun. 

"You there, hunter!" He shouted out above the rooftops. His voice could carry and echo up here but he couldn't hear anything back from this distance. 

Djura gave his customary warning, halfway just resigned to killing another blood hungry hunter. But this one was reacting strangely to his voice. Spinning his head around and nearly jumping around looking for Djura. 

When the hunter's head finally seemed to locate the building Djura was perched on, Djura was shocked to see the hunter wave an arm rapidly. Then the hunter set off in his direction. 

Ten seconds later the hunter died to a startled beast. 

Djura watched with no little surprise as the man's body dissolved into a glowing pool of blood. It had been quite some time since a Moon's Hunter had been picked. 

No matter. Hunters who Dreamed would not spare his beasts. They were merciless and hungry for blood. The worst and strongest of the lot. He should know, he'd dreamed once. A long time ago when he was young and foolhardy. 

Five minutes later the hunter appeared again. Djura tensed and watched as the hunter ran by beasts, then fell to another jumping from a column of smoke. 

Djura blinked when the hunter came back  _ again _ and sprinted in further this time. Just within range of his gattling gun. Djura filled him with bullets until he disappeared into the blood again. 

The hunter appeared at the doorway again. 

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Djura?" Kade poked their head up above the ladder anxiously. "A-are you okay? I- I've been hearing the- hearing the gun all night." They stopped, squinting through cracked glasses. "...are you drinking?" 

"Watch, watch watch-" Djura waved at the point he'd managed to pin the man at so far. Sure enough the man came sprinting through a minute later. "Dumbass- keeps running through, no matter how many times me or the beasts kill him." He took a drink from his bottle of dubious origins. "Watched him fall off a building more times than I can count." 

"...has this- has this been going on- _ all night?"  _ Kade questioned, looking doubtfully down at the glowing pool of blood left behind. 

_ Sometimes  _ the man would be able to reach his leftovers before dying again. Sometimes. Rarely. 

"Moment the sun set." Djura coughed and spat a gunk of mucus up to the side. 

"Damn." 

Kade watched with him as the hunter made his way back in through the gate and managed to sprint back through the worst of the beasts. Djura had more than used up the oil urns to blow him up with but he still tried to shoot the intruder in between gaps in the walls. He nearly managed to kill the bastard before the hunter fell down out of sight and presumably didn't die, if the lack of glowing lights said anything. 

"He's not- not at- attacking the beasts." Kade said, sounding puzzled. 

Djura gave them a slight look. He forgot sometimes how young and naive Kade was. 

"He's a Hunter of the Dream." Djura took a sip from his bottle and hacked up soot a moment later. "They'll kill every beast they get their hands on. Y'can't trust em." 

"But- but he's  _ not _ trying to kill them." Kade looked even more confused. 

"Ya gotta point," Djura admitted. "But by now I'm just tryna get him to go the fuck away." 

"It's not really um. Not really working is it." It wasn't even a question. 

They both watched as the hunter sprinted out from cover only to dodge a beast wildly, slip on a pool of his own previous blood, and careen off the edge of the walkway. 

"Not at all."

* * *

When Djura saw a hunter's cap peek over the top of the ladder he wasted no time in priming his stakedriver. 

"Hi-" The hunter didn't get a chance to speak before the stake driver went through his forehead and sent his body flying off the roof. It dissolved before the blood even had time to hit the ground. 

Djura rubbed his face tiredly when he saw the man appear back in the doorway a few minutes later.

* * *

"A week. A week straight. Every night." Djura took a bite of his jerky perhaps more violently than necessary. "What the fuck does he  _ want?  _ I'm almost afraid to find out at this point." 

Kade shrugged timidly, gnawing on their jerky with a bit more difficulty. 

"What the  _ fuck."  _ Djura threw his hands up. "If he makes it back up to my lookout again I'll at least hear him out. Just because the curiosity's killing me." 

Kade nodded their agreement without saying a word. Djura squinted at them suspiciously.

* * *

"Hi!" The hunter tried, yet again, to poke his head up above the ladders edge. 

This time Djura readied his stakedriver but didn't shoot. The hunter seemed to pause, not expecting this. 

"My name's Ben!" The hunter said from the relative safety of the ladder on the opposite side of the roof. "What's your name?" 

Djura stared at him. "What the  _ fuck  _ do you want?" 

Ben blinked at him. Most of his face was hidden behind the customary mask. 

"...to be friends?" 

Djura stared at him harder. 

"Are you _ fucking kidding me-" _


	2. Ben Fixes Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's kindness has some affects on the fate of Yharnam. 
> 
> You ever have your head bitten off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad the dumb adventures of Ben are entertaining to everybody else as well hsgdhsvd
> 
> This chapter is a bit more serious but it's still got it's moments

Benjamin ducked around a few startled beasts and rolled past them, standing up and sprinting by another. Most of the beasts in Old Yharnam weren't as violent as they were in the rest of the city but that didn't mean they wouldn't slash at him if he got too close. 

Or even walked by at all really. He hoped they'd get used to him soon like they were used to Djura and Kade. It was a pain having to sprint everywhere all the time and he was really starting to feel it in his knees. 

He scrambled down an alleyway and saw the Big Door Djura had mentioned. The Big Door that the beast Djura called Paarl was behind. Someday he would see if Paarl was truly as vicious as Djura claimed. 

For now, he just needed to head out and go find Gascoigne. Djura was friendly, now, and Ben knew he needed to be cautious with a beast as big as Gascoigne. Even Djura was extremely cautious around beasts big enough to step on him. And Ben once saw Djura hug the beast with skin and puss dripping down it! And Djura said _Ben_ had no self-preservation instincts!

But regardless of how dangerous the beast was he just… he could not bring himself to kill Gascoigne. No matter what anyone said about beasts. No matter how many times the man had killed him. When you didn't stay dead, what did dying matter?

* * *

_The screaming of a woman, Ben sprinting towards it. Beasts everywhere. A massive man slaughtering every one of them._

_Ben slipped by the side, not catching the man's attention even when he tripped over a gravestone loudly._

_"Hello?" He called quietly, looking down onto the roof where the woman was huddled up. A blood trail behind her. Had she climbed up this far looking for safety even with such gruesome injuries?_

_"Wh-who..?" The woman hardly had the strength to look at him and Ben saw in an instant that she didn't have long before she was gone._

_He wished he could ask her permission first but she had maybe a minute, seconds at worst. He jumped over to her, pulled a blood vial out, and stabbed it directly into the gushing wound in her chest. The woman gasped breathily in pain and her hands went up to grab his wrists weakly._

_"Wh-who are you..?" She asked again, eyes already stronger as the blood went to work. He tugged one hand away to grab another blood vial, holding it out in offering. She wasn't out of the woods yet._

_The woman blinked slowly but released his hand. Ben took that as permission to use another blood vial on her, into her arm. He would prefer to put it in her thigh - like he was told it was supposed to be - but her skirts were in the way and he was not lifting them. Nope._

_"My name is Benjamin, but please, just call me Ben?" He pulled his mask down so he could smile at her. The woman smiled back. Weakly, but she was already regaining color in her face._

_"Viola." She said quietly. "I… I don't want…"_

_He HAD taken out a third blood vial, but since she seemed to hesitate he held off on using it._

_"Perfectly understandable. Blood is a bit frightening." The relief on her face said this was definitely the right call, even if he wanted at least one more vial in her to chase the shaking and paleness away from her. "Can I help you home, ma'am, or would you like to head somewhere safer?" Ben was already thinking of where he could find some normal medical supplies._

_"I-I need to- to head home, my daughters-" Viola looked up and her eyes widened._

**_"Get away from her!"_ ** _The voice was beastly and snarled and ah fuck right behind him._

_Ben whirled around with a punch, mind racing on how to keep Viola safe. Wait. What did he say?_

_The man buried an axe in Ben's shoulder at the same time Ben's fist cracked his head to the side. They both stumbled backwards._

_Ben shoved the vial still in his hand into his gushing shoulder and drew his kirkhammer from his back. The beastly man shook Ben's blood off his axe and leaned forwards with a roar._

_"Viola, run!" Ben barreled into the man, shoving him off the rooftop and into the slaughterhouse of a graveyard. He just had to keep the man busy enough to let her get away. He didn't want to kill him. Not if he had to._

_After all the holes in Viola's chest were shaped like a pitchfork. And neither guns nor ludicrously big axes could make that sort of injury last Ben checked. But the scattered beast corpses around the graveyard, with all their makeshift weapons…_

_Ben was bleeding and rather broken by the time he looked around and couldn't see any trace of Viola. The big man wasn't doing much better, though Ben had tried to avoid lethal damage. It was hard to not just smash someone to pieces when you used a giant hammer._

_"Oh good." He sighed in relief and lowered his hammer. Viola was safe, hopefully._

_The axe went through his head a moment later._

* * *

_"Oh, are you a hunter?" A child's voice._

_A child! In Yharnam! Blessed be!_

_Ben removed his mask to smile up at the window. "Yes I sure am!"_

_"...what's on your face?" The little voice asked._

_"Madeline…" A familiar voice._

_"No worries, it's just something I was born with." The black and red marks across the left side of his face always got comments from children. It was rather cute honestly. "But- pardon, Miss Viola?"_

_"Yes, hello Ben." A shadow at the window._

_"You sound like you're feeling a bit better, and I'm very glad to see you got home safely." Ben smiled widely. He'd been rather worried about her but he hadn't found a body, so he'd held onto hope._

_"Yes. I'm… I'm still quite hurt, but you saved my life. Thank you." She sounded like she was about to cry._

_"Anything for a lady still alive in this city. And able to hold a conversation!" He tipped his hat up at the window. There was a gentle sob and his good humor collapsed. "Viola? My lady, what's wrong?" He stepped closer to the window._

_Viola began to speak._

* * *

_"Gascoigne." Ben walked into the graveyard with his jaw clenched._

_The giant of a man continued butchering the long dead corpses._

_"...beasts all over the shop…" Ben could faintly hear. "You'll be one of them, sooner or later…"_

_"Mayhap I will, but not now." Ben said firmly. "Gascoigne, go home. Return to your wife, your daughters. They miss you. They_ **_need_ ** _you, tonight of all nights."_

_Gascoigne halted, jerkily swinging around to face him. The man's face was twisted into rage and sorrow._

_"Don't… don't speak… of her…" He bared his too-sharp teeth at Ben. "Don't you speak of her!"_

_"She's waiting for you, Father Gascoigne, and she wants you home."_

_"SHUT UP!" Gascoigne screamed and charged him._

_Ben cursed and dodged the axe heading towards him._

* * *

_Ben refused to take out his kirkhammer to fight. Not now. Not when he knew there was still something left in this man._

_He died five times before he was able to pull out the music box Viola had given him. Gascoigne fell to his knees, clutching his head, screaming something unholy. Ben took a few steps towards him in concern._

_He died to his head being chopped off shortly after._

_The number of times he died before managing to use the music box again was ridiculous, with the same results. But Ben wound it up immediately after the music faded and Gascoigne screamed at him._

_"STOP IT! STOP IT! SHE'S_ **_DEAD!_ ** _VIOLA!" He wailed and then exploded._

_Literally._

_"Ah fuck."_

_Ben's head was bitten off soon after._

* * *

_"Viola I'm afraid I'm gonna have to stop you from visiting your husband." Ben said tiredly, leaning against the window._

_"What..? You… you didn't… did you..?"_

_"No!" Ben's eyes widened. "Gods no, he's still alive, just… the music box didn't help. I think he thought you had died?" Ben scratched the back of his head. "He um."_

_There was silence for a long minute._

_"I see." Viola's voice was soft and filled with grief. "What… what shall you do now, Hunter?"_

_"Well I think I got him locked in pretty good," Ben folded his arms thoughtfully. "Got all the gates and doors chained up pretty good, he seems content to just pace around the graveyard and growl. Bit of a pain to not be able to go through that area but I can manage it if I head-"_

_"You…" She said, confused. "You locked him in the graveyard?"_

_"...yeah?" Ben blinked at her. "What else was I supposed to do?"_

_Viola was quiet for a moment before laughing softly. The kind of laugh you made when you were trying not to cry and failing. "Thank you, then, Kind Hunter. Perhaps I will find a way to bring my husband back. But… but if he escapes and… and hurts people…"_

_"Miss Viola, I don't think there's any people left in Yharnam to hurt." Ben said tiredly. "But I'm not gonna hurt one of the few folks still with some human in them. He can stay there until we find something else to do with him, hm?"_

_"...thank you, Ben."_

* * *

It was time to do something about Gascoigne alright. Ben cracked open the gate and looked inside cautiously. 

There was no response. 

The bodies scattered across the graveyard looked vaguely chewed on. The graves looked like they'd been ripped out of the ground and tossed around. The trees were splinters. 

Ben walked around a bit, hoping Gascoigne hadn't just climbed the damn fence or jumped out or something else crazy. He checked in occasionally and usually heard the heavy breathing of the beast here. But he doubted Gascoigne was truly trapped. If he wanted out he'd find a way. 

Just when he'd resigned himself to hunting the beast down (not literally) through the entire city Ben heard a faint huff. 

Ben looked at the mausoleum and nearly smacked himself. The entire front entrance was busted open suspiciously wide. 

When he walked up close he saw the faint movement inside, heard the shifting and heavy breathing. 

"Father Gascoigne?" He tried. He should usually be dead by this point. 

There was a great heave of breath and an odd shakiness. A huff. A whine. 

Oh. He was... crying. Ben softened and took a few steps closer. 

He was promptly disemboweled by a sharp set of claws. 

"Ah, right." Don't surprise beasts, or get too close. Even if they're not immediately violent. 

"Shit-!" 

"...what?" Ben blinked and squinted into the mausoleum. 

His eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness even as his guts fell out. A giant mound of fur and a smaller figure moving towards him. 

"Oh! Hi!" Ben smiled at the man running to him just as the Dream started to take him. Thank the gods. Losing your intestines was a slow way to go.

* * *

Some minutes later Ben managed to jog his way back to the graveyard. A hunter stood in the gate and he braced himself. Who was this? He hadn't exactly talked to many folks in Yharnam and what few he did had made hunters out to be… a bit on the mad side. 

"Hi! My name's Ben!" He waved with a smile. 

The hunter's face was covered but his eyes narrowed, going to draw his weapon. A saw blade, nice. 

"I'm not here to fight-" Ben frowned, holding his hands up to show they were free. "I just wanna try and get Gascoigne to-" 

"Stay away from him." The hunter's eyes went a little wild, swinging his saw blade out and preparing to fight. Not nice. 

"I'm not here to kill him either!" Ben protested. Why did everyone think he was going to just murder every beast he saw? 

The hunter paused. His head tilted in an obvious 'go on' manner. 

"I was going to try bringing him to Djura, since Djura knows about beasts, and can kinda help him?" Ben scratched the back of his head. "I didn't really understand a lot of what Djura said but like. It sounds like he could help him." 

The saw blade lowered. "Djura? In... Old Yharnam?" 

"Yeah! He's kinda grouchy but he's good at helping beasts." 

"That could work…" The old hunter mumbled, seeming… confused? 

"Are you okay?" Ben asked genuinely. 

"I… I've…" The hunter put a hand to his head. "I think I was… really close to going blood mad…" He sounded a bit dazed. 

"You might need to see Djura too." Ben frowned and took a step forward. There was an ominous shifting of stone from inside the graveyard. "What's your name?" 

"...Henryk. How do you know Gascoigne?" The hunter didn't protest as Ben put a hand under his elbow and helped guide him to a nearby bench. Lucky that graveyards had a ton of benches! Henryk sat down like he was close to falling. 

"I don't really, his wife wanted me to help him and I really don't want to kill a man who did all this-" Ben waved his hand to the bloody, wrecked graveyard. "-all because some beasts hurt his wife." 

"What?" Henryk blinked at him. 

"...Viola? His wife. She was hurt and-" 

"No no, she's _alive?_ Gascoigne seemed certain-" Henryk shook his head. "No, his mind is so scrambled…" 

"She nearly _did_ die." Ben admitted seriously. "I'm lucky I showed up in time to get her out of here. Then next time I tried to bring Gascoigne home for her he thought she was dead and then-" He made a poof motion with his hands. "Boof." Well there was a lot of dying in between those things but he figured Henryk didn't need to hear about that. 

"She's alive." Henryk sighed in heavy relief. "Gascoigne… I think that alone will help him, a lot." 

"Okay so I'm all for reuniting a family but, I really don't want Gascoigne seeing Viola anytime soon? He's killed me like. A lot. I dunno if he's currently aware enough to risk such a thing." 

"I agree." Henryk sighed and then they both jumped when there were heavy footsteps from the graveyard. 

Henryk whirled around defensively, putting his weapon away but still on edge. Ben just smiled at the massive beast that approached. 

"Hello Father Gascoigne." 

The beast sniffed and then snarled, hunching over. 

"No, don't-" Henryk's attempt to hold a hand out made Gascoigne growl even louder. "Gascoigne, no, he's… a friend." 

The beast seemed confused for a moment but then shook his head, crouching low to the ground so he could put his face in Ben's. He sniffed loudly a few times. 

Ben stayed very still and tried very hard not to remember what it was like getting your head bitten off. 

"Hi there." He said quietly. "Your breath smells like dead things." 

The beast huffed that gross hot air right into his face and then leaned back. He growled and turned around to go pace the graveyard. 

Ben sighed in relief at the same time as Henryk.

* * *

"So how exactly did you plan on making him follow you to Old Yharnam, again?" 

"If he was still trying to kill me I was gonna make him chase me there." 

"...do you have a death wish?" 

"No, why?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone: why do you have a death wish 
> 
> Ben: i don't?? Why does everyone keep saying that???? 
> 
> Anyways so how did Ben get there in time to save Viola? Well, normally there's big gates in the way but uh. Mayhaps they are no longer there


	3. Supportive Respectful and Kind (Respectful and Kiiiiind)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reason Kade didn’t comment when Djura decided to speak to Ben. 
> 
> AKA he's very good at making everyone gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kade is again a char belonging to my friend Kai and I love them so much mwah mwah 
> 
> Also, Ben is officially Cowboy he says HOWDY

Ben had already spent a few days trying to talk to the cool guy in Old Yharnam. He didn't seem very open to talking, but then again, Ben had nearly been shot by (and actually shot by) so many people he didn't blame him. Who could tell who was blood mad or not? 

Ben could. Well, he liked to think so. It was in the way Djura spoke. He didn't seem  _ happy _ to kill Ben. He sounded angry that Ben was even  _ in _ Old Yharnam but also sounded like he didn't care, he was so tired. 

Djura sounded  _ exhausted.  _ Like the kind of exhausted that it took working  _ really _ hard for a  _ very _ long time to reach. Ben remembered his Papa having that same voice when working hard to get them enough money for holiday gifts. Giving everyone a little spending money to get things for everyone else. 

Sure the holidays were a little hungry, but everyone was happy and had all sorts of useful things. 

Ben was so distracted at the fond memories of home he completely missed that the elevator wasn't _ actually _ there and he stepped right off the edge. He gave an excited whoop on the way down. The actual landing was too fast to hurt and the fall was a blast- why not enjoy it? 

"Hello Kind Hunter." The Doll always seemed unfazed by his constant running in and out of the Dream. 

"Hello!" Ben called, heading back to the gravestone at a jog. 

Old Yharnam was an interesting place. If Ben skirted around the fires the beasts wouldn't attack him. If he just sprinted on through most of them didn't give chase for very long. (Some of the first few beasts were starting to give up chasing him at all, just giving cursory swipes and hisses.) It gave him hope for the rest of Yharnam to see the beasts here so much more peaceful. 

Ben started his newest sprint through the doors and skewered himself on a spear before he made it more than one step. He looked down in mild shock, then looked up when he heard the holder's surprised yelp. 

"Sh-shit! I-I'm sorry!!" It was the hunter that sometimes showed up to try chasing Ben away. "L-let me just- o-oh gods this wasn't- wasn't what I meant t-to do-" 

"Hold up now," Ben grabbed the shaft of the spear before it could be ripped out, ignoring the pain with experience. "Don't just rip it out, it'll hurt like shit- uh. A lot." Was the hunter a lady? He couldn’t tell. Best to not curse in front of ladies, so he'd just try not to curse in front of them until he knew for sure. Their voice didn't give much away and their clothes were as form concealing as most hunters' were. 

Ben jabbed himself in the gut with a blood vial and then grasped the spear firmly. He gave a brief countdown and the hunter gasped when he yanked it out of his gut. 

Crap. That hurt. 

Another blood vial went to his gut, then a third. Ben sighed as he held his organs in. 

"Probably best to just kill me so I can come back." He looked down at the blood pooling from his stomach. The vials weren't kicking in yet and he was pretty sure the fuzzy feeling was both from healing blood and blood  _ loss.  _

Ben heard an audible gulp and then had the very very brief (and familiar) sensation of a sharp object entering his head, killing him near instantly. 

"Hello Kind Hunter." The Doll said, nonplussed. 

"Hello!" Ben sprinted to Old Yharnam's headstone excitedly, nearly hopping into it. 

He stood up from the lantern and spun around to see the hunter peering through the doors shyly. 

"Howdy, I'm Ben!" He waved his hand with a cheerful smile. Then realized they couldn't see it and pulled his mask down. For some reason the hunter flinched. 

"B-Ben…" The hunter said quietly. "Wh-why… why do- why do you keep-" The hunter wrung their hands tightly around their riflespear. "Why do you keep c-coming back? E-even though we- you k-keep dying. Why?" 

Ben tilted his head at them. "I… I really wanna talk to your friend up there." He pointed up at the building that had a gatling gun mounted on the side. 

_ "Why?"  _ The hunter threw their hands out to the side, spear hitting the door with a clunk. "Wh-when we keep- keep  _ killing _ you?!" 

"Well," Ben said slowly. "I'm pretty sure you do it to stop me from hurting beasts. And you can't tell if I'm blood drunk or not from way up there. And why be mad about getting killed if I don't stay dead?" He shrugged. 

The hunter stared at him through cracked glasses. "Do- do you have like- a th-thing for dying?" They sounded baffled. 

"What? No." Ben's nose crinkled up. He  _ might  _ enjoy it when he fell to his death, but only because he knew he'd come back so he could enjoy the feeling of the air rushing by him. 

...huh, maybe he had a  _ bit  _ of a thing for dying. Sometimes. 

"But- but why not-" The hunter scratched their head and sighed heavily. "I-I don't get it." They slumped. "Y-you could've- could've snuck your way- could've just-" They made a strangled noise and stopped. 

After a few awkward seconds Ben spoke up. 

"What's your name?" He asked cheerfully. 

The hunter stared at him. "...K-Kade. My name- my name is Kade." They said quietly. 

"It's very nice to meet you Kade." Ben held his hand out to shake. Kade shook it awkwardly and slowly. "Now I really hate to be so rude, and pardon me for being presumptuous, but are you a lady? I can't quite tell and I'd really rather not be rude thinkin the wrong thing." 

For some reason Kade turned flustered red, turning around and hugging themself tightly. "I-I'm- I'm not- not a lady, b-but I'm… not a man." 

Ben thought that over for a moment as Kade was very quiet. 

"Then I'm sorry for assuming." He smiled. He could keep thinking of Kade as 'them', right? Was that how that worked?

"Y-you don't think that's… weird?" Kade spun around with startled eyes. 

"Well, sure is, and I don't right understand it, but it's not my business. If you aren't you aren't and I won't be prying into your private life." He nodded firmly and adjusted his hat. "Though my 'pologies if I mess something up." 

Kade was bright, bright red in what little of their face he could see behind wild hair, cracked glasses, and a hunter's mask. Their eyes were wide. 

"Th-thank you." They said. Very, very quietly. 

"You're welcome?" Ben wasn't sure why he was being thanked but whatever. "So I gotta question." 

"Ye- yes?" They were still red. 

"Could you maybe talk to your friend up there and ask him to stop shooting me?" Ben scratched his head. "I really do just wanna talk!" 

For some reason Kade started laughing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah Ben you oblivious idiot
> 
> So while playing Ben (I'm fixing to go NG+ for the first time soon) I regularly die and fall off buildings. Also, he has hard capped strength, soft capped skill, and I'm almost to soft capping arcane, with a good chunk into bloodtinge for Cannon 
> 
> And yeah, Ben walks off buildings a Lot despite the rad stats


	4. Family is Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also known as I am Incapable of writing anything without Some angst!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hee hee hoo hoo 
> 
> It should be known I'm not usually a humor author, I'm usually doing angst and whump and horrible stuff (: this is still super mild by my standards tho lmfao (brief warning, for VERY brief insinuations of suicidal attempts)

"Why be a hunter?" Eileen asked him. "You don't kill beasts, you hardly go after blood drunks, why be a hunter at all?" 

He could tell she was genuinely curious. It was an odd thing, he'd admit. 

"Because I had no other choice." Ben shrugged aimlessly. 

"Sure there was plenty other things to do, for a strong young man such as yourself." 

"...no." 

Something about the way he said it made Eileen stop asking, thankfully. She was scary, he didn't want to have to ask her to stop talking about it.

* * *

"I came from Ulak, further past Hemwick." He told Gilbert when asked if he was a fellow outsider. "We thought the Scourge couldn't come so far." His smile faltered. "It was my first hunt." 

Gilbert was quiet, but eventually spoke. "I'm sorry." 

"It's okay." Ben's smile came back softly. "Nobody's hurting anymore." 

"If it helps," Gilbert laughed humorlessly, sending himself into a brief coughing fit. "My family sent me here with a bag of coin and false well wishes. Haven't heard from them since." 

"That's horrible." Ben frowned heavily. "They didn't even care?" 

"They'd been spending money on me for three years trying to get me cured. I think they were just glad to see me off their checkbooks." 

Ben didn't like punching people in the face, but sometimes he thought it would be best if he let his fist take karma's job…

* * *

"I don't remember my family." Alfred shrugged carelessly. "I was taken in by the Executioners at a very young age, so all I recall are my brothers and sisters in arms." 

"I know what it's like to have a big family. I had two sisters and three brothers." Ben grinned. "Mom and Papa wanted as many as we could handle, and the farm was real big so we could handle a lot of folks." He leaned back and chuckled. "That and plenty of aunts and uncles and cousins all in the next town over." 

Alfred leaned forwards, looking fascinated. "Really? Were you the oldest? Youngest? I've always wondered what it would be like having a real sibling." 

"Oh Anne and Jeremy were older, but my younger siblings were Verona and Thomas, Julian was the youngest. He was always babied and was  _ such  _ a brat!" Ben laughed. "'Why do  _ I _ have to feed the chickens? Why do  _ I  _ have to scrub the pantry?' What a prat! We all did our fair share of chores!" 

Alfred chortled alongside him. "Sounds like a new recruit that doesn't know his place!" 

"Yeah, he was a right punk." Ben felt his eyes watering. Must've gotten some dust in his eyes. "I'd give everything to hear him complain about chores again." 

"...I understand." Alfred seemed to stare at him for a long moment before standing up abruptly. "Would you like another spar?" He drew his sword from the hammer on his back and Ben stood at attention gratefully. 

It was always nice to have friends who understood the need to distract yourself.

* * *

"The hell'd you start hunting for if you know beasts are people?" Djura gave him a side eye. The man still didn't seem to trust him. 

"Well… I couldn't exactly run the farm at home by myself." Ben leaned back against a wall looking out in the distance. He wouldn't see home even if he squinted, but he liked to think he could. 

"No family to help?" Djura sounded… sympathetic? Like he… 

"...no." Ben didn't like thinking about it. "Came to Yharnam. Figured I'd be more useful here." 

The two hunters-that-didn't-hunt stood there side by side for a while, looking out on the horizon. It was peaceful. 

"When I was a kid," Djura spoke softer than Ben had ever heard him speak before. It made his voice hoarse and crackly. "My family died of the Ashen Plague." 

Ben startled and looked at the old hunter. Djura was staring out at the city skyline and pointedly didn't look him in the eye. 

"I'm sorry." Ben said, knowing very well how stupid a thing it was to say. But what else were you supposed to say? 

"I've learned to accept it. Been a long time." Djura shrugged. "But… I was the first to catch it, and the only one in the house to survive it." Ben's breath caught. "I joined up with the hunters as soon as I could stand up on my own, never looked back." Djura finally turned to him and gave him a pointed look. "Never could manage to die." 

Oh. He  _ did _ understand. Djura understood a lot. Ben sniffed. Damn smoke. 

"If it's worth anything, even if you managed to die I'm glad you didn't stay dead." 

Ben wiped his face. Mom always said he looked horrible when he cried.

* * *

"M-my parents shot- inj-injected me with exp-experimental blood and turned- turned me into a. A monster." Kade took a deep drink from a bottle they'd snuck from Djura and passed it to Ben. He couldn’t stop staring at their three beastly jaws, gaping idly in drunkenness. 

"Oh I get that.. My brother Jules nearly killed me and when I woke up my entire family was beasts." Ben took a big gulp of burning liquid. It felt like it went straight to his head. 

"Ffff-ffuckin sucks, bro." Kade wobbled next to him, leaning in and giving him a side hug. "You're- you're too ffffuck- fuckin  _ nnnnice.  _ For that." 

"You're not a monster. You're too nice for that." Ben poked them in the side and they giggled loudly, sinking their claws into his side trying to get him back. 

Ben was too used to pain (and too drunk) to really care. He just dove in and started tickling them back, having to make a strategic retreat when their shrieking laughter was too loud for his poor human ears to handle. 

The next day, laying in a cursed swinging hammock while Djura laughed at Ben and fretted over Kade, Ben swore over the fact that the only beds here were hanging in the air. Kade wasn't a lady, he was allowed to swear Mom, promise! 

"Hey- hey Ben?" Kade sounded horrible. "Y-you're not- not a monster either, o-okay?" 

"...thanks." Ben threw an arm over his face to block out the single candle that felt like a bullet in his brain. 

"O-okay, maybe you're- you're a  _ bit _ of a- bit of one for- for not telling me this- this is wh-what hangovers feel like." Kade moaned pathetically. 

Ben laughed and regretted it when he faceplanted out of the hammock trying to not throw up on himself.

* * *

"Did you ever want children? Or… do you have any?" Viola asked softly through the window. "You take good care of my girls…" 

"Well, I had a lot of younger siblings and cousins." Ben crossed his arms behind his head. "And I always wanted kids, but… not really an option." 

"The Hunt won't last forever." She said, curious but not pushy. "You could find a wife, or adopt." 

Ben laughed loudly. "I'm afraid I  _ definitely  _ don't have a wife in my future. Though I will say this about Yharnam; back home I would've never been allowed to marry a man in church." He looked up at the red moon with a smirk. "Mom and Papa never cared that I always looked at the Johnston  _ boy _ rather than the girls, but the town would've done  _ so much  _ talking…" 

Viola was quiet before laughing. "And here in Yharnam, they'll be talking more about you being an outsider more than having a husband." 

'They'll be'. Like he could still have a future here. Like the city wasn't going to fall apart around them. 

"Yeah." Ben shrugged. "But I'll definitely be adopting, that's for sure. Lots of kids, in a big house…" He closed his eyes and smiled. 

"I'm sure Madeline and Bo can keep you busy until then." Viola said. 

He beamed at the window.

* * *

"Gascoigne's family is my family." Henryk said, short as always. 

"Yeah, I've heard the girls call you grandpa…" Ben worked on undoing the ah… 'braids' Bo had put in his hair. Madeline tried to fix them but it really didn't help. "How long have you been a part of their family, then?" 

"Since we became hunting partners." Henryk was always more likely to speak to Ben than anyone else, he'd noticed. Maybe he liked him? Maybe he was just glad Ben hadn't killed Gascoigne? 

"Oh wow, that's been… probably a while?" Ben squinted. He could never quite tell how old the old hunter was and Gascoigne was beyond telling as a beast. 

Said beast chuffed in amusement, head laying on his massive arms and seeming to watch the both of them. 

"You calling us old?" Henryk's head inclined ever so slightly to the side. 

"Maybe?" Ben scratched his beard because his whole head felt itchy from tugging on his scalp so much. "I dunno, granDa always worked out with the cows still even when he was like, my great  _ great _ granDa. Hard to say. Old folks are stubborn and strong as shit." 

Henryk stared at him for a moment. Ben wondered why everyone was always giving him funny looks. 

Gascoigne burst into loud, growling laughter. It sent hot, dead flesh scented air blasting into the both of them. Ben scrunched his nose up. 

"Yeah." Henryk nodded firmly to his hunting partner. "Definitely adopting him." 

Ben tilted his head. "Huh?" Ah fuck, his hand was stuck in his tangled hair now. 

Gascoigne kept laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben grew up with the Perfect himbo backstory 
> 
> Lots of family! Farm boy! Howdy! Tragedy! Suicidal attempts! The whole package!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all liked! I'm over on Tumblr at @weregreatatcrime and you should stop by and say hi! I'll probably be doing a bit of Bloodborne art and sharing it there


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